Sunday, July 26, 2015
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Conquering "Marriage Boredom": 10 Tips to Spice Up Your Marriage
You've
moved past that giddy "honeymoon phase" and settled into a comfortable
lifestyle with your spouse. You revel in each other's company and
companionship but....dare we say it, life is getting a little, uh,
boring.
It’s a problem researchers at Stony Brook University found in a 2009 study on boredom in marriages. In fact, they concluded the ennui leads to a decline in marital satisfaction.
Many couples experience this "marriage boredom" at some point.
It seems to be a natural outgrowth of a stable relationship. In
particular, once children come along, routine and regularity become
necessary.
So gone are the days when a couple could just head out to a
spur of the moment long (or short) drive. Now, diaper bags and detailed
planning are a must to pull off this feat. Or just going out for dinner
at a new restaurant requires careful preparation around nap and
feeding times or exams and extracurricular activities.
The key to reestablishing some kind of fun and excitement in
your relationship doesn't require much money or even time, something
busy couples today are often short of. But it does call for a little
planning, as counter-intuitive as that sounds.
Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:
1. Imagine your spouse as a kid: a box of Nerds and Looney Tunes
Kids are often considered part of the reason for "marriage
boredom", but in fact, they help spouses see each other in a new light.
Parenting reveals not only more about a person’s character, but also,
personal history and likes and dislikes, whether that’s a favorite
childhood cartoon or toy, or even a game played with their own parents
when they were young.
Use this new knowledge to your advantage. Surprise your spouse
on a Friday evening once you have some alone time by making or buying
their favorite childhood snack (Nerds?), watching Looney Tunes or Fat
Albert, and playing a game of Pac-Man or Donkey Kong for good measure.
2. Start a new good deed together
This can range from going to Friday prayers together and
teaching at a weekend Islamic school, to taking turns caring for an
elderly relative. Choose your deed and watch your blessings and your
bonding increase.
3. Start eating together
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Eat
together and not separately, for the blessing is associated with the
company" (Tirmidhi). Studies
in the United States over the last decade have also noted that when
families eat together, everyone’s nutrition improves, along with
communication between family members.
While this may not be possible everyday, especially between
jobs, extracurricular activities and other family commitments, make it a
priority at least one day on the weekend.
Also, if dinner is not possible, consider eating breakfast or lunch together if the later hours are too busy.
4. Make Umrah or Hajj together
A brother I know once remarked that making Hajj with your
spouse is the ultimate bonding experience. Facing Allah together is
bound to strengthen your relationship and remind you not only as
individuals of the purpose of life, but how you both, as a couple, can
help each other reach that goal.
5. Pray together
In situations where you cannot pray in the Masjid in a
congregation, make Salah with your spouse instead of individually.
There is power in the Jam'ah (group) even when it is simply the two of
you.
6. Engage in some "Halal dating"
Muslims born, raised or living in Western countries have grown
up watching or regularly witness couples date. Dating is a staple of
teenage life, as expressed in high school hallways, on television shows,
in movies, and in novels. It is part of the working world, where
co-workers often date each other. In 2007, the Oregon-based Online
Dating Magazine estimated that more than 20 million people visit at
least one online dating service a month.
For Muslims, marriage is the ultimate dating opportunity. So
go ahead, use those cheesy pickup lines you heard on your favorite
sitcom; find a babysitter and go out on a date at a swanky restaurant;
bat your eyelashes; flirt. Do all that stuff that was off limits before
marriage but totally Halal with your spouse.
7. Write that "heartfelt letter", preferably by hand
In his book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small
stuff, Dr. Richard Carlson encourages readers to write a heartfelt
letter to those in your life who have influenced you positively. The
letter is an expression of appreciation and thanks. Draft a letter
(preferably by hand versus email, and no tweets or Facebook wall posts
allowed) to your spouse, sharing why you're glad to have them around.
8. Imagine your last day together
The Prophet advised Muslims to pray each of the five daily
prayers as if it is their last one (Ahmad). Taking this ideal into
account, imagine your last day with your spouse, cut short by death. As
morbid as this sounds, it will give you and your significant other a
new appreciation of what you have and what will eventually come to an
end.
9. Switch roles for a day
On a day when neither of you have to work outside the home,
take on the tasks the other would normally do. This will not only add
that much needed "spice", but possibly, a zinger and reality check as
well.
10. Travel together
Umar ibn al Khattab once said that to truly know a person, an
individual must travel with them, do business with them or be their
neighbor. Since you already live together and deal with money issues
regularly, don't neglect the third way to better know your spouse:
travel.
Even if it's just a day trip, make time to check out a new
destination, be it a natural wonder, a new point of interest in your
state or a Masjid or Islamic center in a neighboring town. Seeing new
sights together is an adventure that will add excitement to your
relationship.
Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage
Faith: The most basic and essential attribute of a Muslim marriage is the common faith that binds the couple.
Since
Islam is a way of life and not just a religion confined to weekly
worship it becomes an integral part of a Muslim's life. The frame of
reference shared by the couple eases communication and sharing of values
which is not possible in an interfaith marriage. It is highly
recommended that faith play an important role in the developing a loving
relationship.
For example, as the Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) said, that when a husband feeds his wife, he gets
a reward for this act and Allah increases the bond of love between
them. So when we love each other for the sake of Allah WE ACTUALLY
INCREASE OUR FAITH.
Forgiving: When the Prophet Muhammad
asked his Companions ‘do you wish that Allah should forgive you' they
said, of course O Prophet of Allah. He responded, ‘then forgive each
other'.
One of the main components of a happy marriage is that
the spouses are able to forgive, that they do not hold grudges or act
judgmental towards each other. It is expected that when we live with
someone, situations may arise when we end up saying or doing things that
hurt our spouses. The challenge is not to dwell on it or lay blame but
to move past it. This can only happen if we are not too proud to ask
for forgiveness and we are not stingy to forgive.
If we expect Allah to forgive us than we must learn to forgive.
Forget:
When we constantly remind our spouses of all the times they let us down
or hurt us we have not truly forgiven. Things that happened in the past
must be left there and not be used as fresh ammunition in new
situations. Couples who use this technique usually fall in a rut and
become victims of their own pettiness, unable to break free.
Forbearance:
Sabr (patience) is the most useful tool to have in managing a healthy
lifestyle. Being patient and forbearing puts us in a proactive frame of
mind it brings us closer to Allah through Tawakul and reliance .We
develop an inner mechanism that empowers us to handle life's difficult
moments. As Allah states in Surah al-Asr: "Surely by time humans are at
loss, except those who believe and do righteous deeds and counsel each
other to the truth and counsel each other to Sabr' (Quran, chapter 103).
Flexible: Many couples unnecessarily make themselves miserable because they are unwilling to bend a little.
We
should not expect our spouses to be our extensions. They are their own
selves with personalities, likes and dislikes. We must respect their
right to be them selves as long as it does not compromise their Deen
(religion). Being inflexible and not accommodating for individual
differences leads to a very stressful and tense home atmosphere.
Friendship: This aspect of marriage has three components.
First
is to develop a friendship with our spouses.The relationship based on
friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures.
We
honor, trust, respect, accept and care for our friends, in spite of our
differences. These are the aspects of friendship we should bring to our
marriages.
Unfortunately the only aspect that people think of
bringing to their marriage which is highly inappropriate is the buddy
scenario. Shariah (Islamic law) has placed the husband in a leadership
role within a family. This requires a certain decorum, which cannot be
maintained if the spouses consider each other as pals.
This
should not be taken to mean that husband is a dictator but a shepherd
who is responsible for and to his flock. This is a position of grave
responsibility and places an enormous burden on the husband. Further
more the children need to see their parents as friends but not as pals
as this encourages disrespect.
Friendly: Second aspect of
friendship is to have friendly relations with in-laws. When couples
compete as to whose parents are more important it becomes a constant
source of grief. Much valuable time is wasted trying to convince, one
another of whose parents are most desirable. It is better if we accept,
that our spouses will not overnight fall in love with our parents just
because we want them to. As long as they maintain friendly relations
that are cordial and based on mutual respect we should not force the
issue.
Friends: The third aspect of friendship is our circle of
friends. It is okay to have individual friends of the same gender but
couples must also make effort to have family friends so that they can
socialize together. If there is friction being caused by a certain
friendship it must not be pursued at the expense of the marriage.
Prophet Muhammad advised us to choose God fearing people as friends
since we tend to follow their way. Friends should be a source of joy and
not mischief.
Fun: Couples that do not laugh together
have to work on sharing some fun times. The Prophet was known to play
with his wives. A simple walk in the park can add much spark to the
relationship. Taking up a sport together or watching clean funny movies
is another way of sharing a laugh.
Faithful: It is
commanded by Allah that we be faithful to our spouses. Adultery is a
capital crime in Islam that is punishable by death. However there are
various forms of unfaithful behavior prevalent among some Muslims.
The
most common form is maintaining friendships with the opposite sex over
the boundaries set by Islam, and the misgivings of the spouse. The
latest trend of Internet relationships is also contrary to Islamic Adab
(etiquette) and is causing serious problems between couples. Once a
sense of betrayal sets in, repairing that relationship is difficult.
Another form of not being faithful is when couples betray confidences.
This is a trust issue and one when compromised eats away at the heart of
a marriage.
Fair: Usually when we are angry or
displeased the tendency is to not play fair. We try to convince
ourselves that since we have been wronged it is okay to be unjust in our
behavior and our statements. Allah states in the Quran do not be unjust
under any circumstances, even if they be your enemy, and here we are
talking about our life partners and the parent of our children. To use
words such as "never" and "always" when describing the behavior of the
partner is unfair and puts the other on the defensive.
Finance:
One of the most common points of contention in marriages is money.
Experts tell us that 80 percent of marital conflicts are about money.
It
is therefore highly recommended that the couple put serious time and
effort in developing a financial management plan that is mutually
agreeable and is reviewed every six months or so. Preparing a budget
together is also a helpful and wise way to handling household finances.
It should be remembered that the wife's money in Islam is hers to do
with as she pleases and therefore should not be considered family income
unless she chooses to contribute it to the family
Family:
Parenting can be a stressful experience if the parents are not well
informed. This in turn can put extra pressure on the marriage.
Sometimes
couples are naive about the changes that come in the lifestyle. This
can cause in some cases depression and in some resentment and
misunderstandings. One golden rule that must always be the guide is;
that family comes first.
Whenever there is evidence that the
family is not happy or not our first priority it is time to assemble at
the kitchen table and discuss with open hearts and mind. Couples who
have elderly parents have an added responsibility to take care of them.
This can also be very stressful if the couple is not prepared.
A
care plan must be worked out with respective siblings and parents as to
who will be the primary care giver and what type of support network
they will have. In case of mental incompetence a power of attorney must
be in place. The making of a will is most essential .
Feelings:
Prophet Muhammad \stated that Allah forgives all sins if we repent but
not those we have committed against others i.e. hurt their feelings
unless the person we have hurt forgives first.
Couples are
sometimes very careless when it comes to their spouse's feelings, they
take them for granted and assume that the other knows what they mean. It
is surprising that people are more sensitive and courteous to strangers
than they are to their loved ones. One must be ever vigilant and
careful that they do not hurt the feelings of their spouses and if they
invariably do, they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one
does not know when someone they love will leave this world, is it not
better to make amends when we have the time?
Freedom:
Marriage in Islam is a partnership and not bondage or slavery. To
consider the wife one's property is alien to Islamic concept of husband
and wife role. The team spirit is enhanced and not curtailed when
members of the team are free to be themselves. Freedom in the common
western since is to be free to do as one pleases or to be selfish. On
the contrary, to allow freedom to one's spouse is to be considerate of
their needs and to recognize their limitations.
Flirtation: A
sure way to keep romance in marriage is to flirt with your spouse. Many
successful marriages have maintained a youthful demeanor in their
marriages by adopting special names for each other and secret
communication styles.
Frank: Misunderstandings happen
when couples are not honest with each other. Marital relationship is
where the partners must feel safe to speak their mind with due
consideration to the other's feeling, without compromising their own
views. When the communication is not frank it hinders in the development
of closeness and deep understanding of each other's inner self.
Facilitator:
When choosing our life partner, we must, as the Prophet advised, look
for a pious Muslim. The reason is that their first and foremost goal is
the pleasure of Allah. This commitment to Allah makes them an excellent
facilitator for enhancing their partner's spiritual development. In
essence, the couple facilitates their family's commitment to Allah and
His Deen.
Flattering: Paying compliments and indulging in
honest flattery is a very inexpensive way to win your spouse's heart.
Everyone likes to be appreciated and noticed. So being stingy about
compliments is actually depriving oneself of being appreciated in
return.
Fulfilling: To be all one can be to one's spouse
is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience. To be in love means to
give one's all. The heart does not put conditions or make stipulations.
It gives without expecting anything in return, but such selfless giving
is always rewarded tenfold.
Fallible: It often happens
that our expectations sometimes are so high that we lose focus of the
fact that we are fallible beings. When couples start to nitpick and
demand the impossible they must remind themselves that only Allah is
perfect.
Fondness: So many times couples fail to work on
developing fondness for each other by [failing] to see their spouses as
people through the eyes of their respective friends. Spending quality
time alone doing and sharing activities are ways in which one can
develop fondness.
Future: Smart couples plan for their
future together. They work on their financial and retirement plans, make
wills and discuss these plans with their children. This provides peace
of mind and secures the relationship.
The Prophet (PBUH) and the people who opposed Him
Bleeding from head to toe, battered and exhausted, he was faced with a choice. Should he or shouldn't he seek to destroy the people who had just humiliated him by having their children chase him out of town while throwing stones at him? And this was simply for sharing his message and seeking help for his people.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was in Taif, a lush town of green palm trees, fruits and vegetables, about 50 miles southeast of his arid hometown Makkah. He was hoping that perhaps the people of this town would be receptive to his message, which had been rejected by most of the Makkans for over a decade.
But the people of Taif proved just as cruel and intolerant. Not only did they scorn his message of God's Oneness, they turned their youth against the Prophet. In the face of this misery, an angel was sent and presented him with an option: have the whole town be destroyed, by God's will, for such arrogance and hatefulness.
He could have done it. He could have asked that this valley of cruel people be crushed. But he didn't.
No, he told the Angel. Don't destroy the people of Taif. Instead he prayed for their salvation.
That is just one example of how this man, who God describes as a "mercy to mankind" (Quran 21:107) dealt with those who opposed him. It's just one of many examples in the life of a person who faced constant death threats, attempts on his life, abuse and humiliation at the hands of those threatened by his simple but profound message: there is no god but God and Muhammad is His Messenger. Peace and blessings be upon him.
But the people of Taif were not the only ones who tasted of this mercy. He would pray for his enemies all the time. Two of his bitterest enemies, Abu Jahl and Omar ibn al-Khattab were also the objects of his prayers.
The Prophet made similar Duas (supplications) for his people on a regular basis: "O God! Guide my people, for they know not," he would pray, as he and his followers were tortured, humiliated, scorned and mocked.
On another occasion, some Companions came to the Prophet and said: "O Messenger of God! The tribe of Daus have committed disbelief and disobeyed (your commands). Supplicate God against them!" Contrary to the people’s expectations, the Prophet said: "O Allah! Guide Daus and let them come to us." (Bukhari).
These are just a few glimpses of how the Prophet dealt with those who opposed him. These were people who didn't just fight his message on an intellectual level. These were individuals bent on destroying him, his family, his followers and Islam itself.
Mercy after Victory
Skeptics may argue that it is easy to be merciful and forgiving when one is in a position of weakness. But in a position of power or when the opportunity presents itself, humans are known for abusing their authority and punishing their enemies brutally.
Here, too, the Prophet demonstrated exemplary behavior. The most well-known example of this is during the peaceful takeover of Mecca by the Muslims. At a time when he could have easily destroyed his worst enemies, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, showed remarkable restraint. This is even more significant given the culture of vicious tribal rivalry and guilt by association practiced at the time.
Among those the Prophet forgave were Abu Sufyan, a Quraysh leader who was among those who led the opposition to Islam; Ikrimah ibn Abu Jahl, an enemy whose father was one of the Prophet’s most vehement opponents; Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, who ripped open the corpse of the Prophet’s beloved uncle Hamza after the Battle of Uhud and ripped out his heart and liver; Wahshi, the man commissioned by Hind to murder Hamza; Utbah, the son of another of the Prophet’s greatest foes, Abu Lahab, who had divorced the Prophet’s daughter Ruqayyah under pressure from his father. None of these individuals were harmed or punished for their crimes.
The Prophet also made sure that none of the Muslims with him at the time of the takeover acted on their understandable feelings of vengeance for those who had tortured them and driven them out of their homes. For example, the Prophet gave Sa’d ibn Ubadah the standard he was initially carrying, after which Sa’d announced as the Muslims marched by Abu Sufyan that this would be the day of the Quraysh’s abasement and a day of slaughter. When the Prophet heard about this, he asked that Sa’d give the standard to his son, known for his comparatively milder temperament, for fear that Sa’d would commit violence against the Quraysh. Sa’d complied.
In terms of the rest of the Makkan population, they were granted forgiveness. It was truly a bloodless revolution based on mercy for the enemy.
Many Muslims have forgotten these lessons today
Contrast this attitude with that of some ignorant Muslims today who curse others to Hell and pray for their destruction. We don't know who is going where in the Next Life. We don't even know about ourselves. So let's keep making Dua that we stay on the right path and God guides others to it as well. We must not play God by assuming we know where others will end up.
When God tells us in the Quran about the behavior which leads to good reward and the character which takes people to the Hellfire, He is saying this so that people adopt the right behavior and avoid Hellfire by abandoning what He forbade for our own good. However, those verses are not meant to be a litmus test for us to determine where others will end up. That knowledge is only with God, the Lord of the universe.
Our Prophet was a mercy to all human beings, regardless of their religious, racial, cultural or ethnic background. We, as his followers, must live and spread this message today at a time when hatefulness and ugliness towards each other has become the norm.
Reference url: http://www.soundvision.com/info/seerah/enemy.asp
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was in Taif, a lush town of green palm trees, fruits and vegetables, about 50 miles southeast of his arid hometown Makkah. He was hoping that perhaps the people of this town would be receptive to his message, which had been rejected by most of the Makkans for over a decade.
But the people of Taif proved just as cruel and intolerant. Not only did they scorn his message of God's Oneness, they turned their youth against the Prophet. In the face of this misery, an angel was sent and presented him with an option: have the whole town be destroyed, by God's will, for such arrogance and hatefulness.
He could have done it. He could have asked that this valley of cruel people be crushed. But he didn't.
No, he told the Angel. Don't destroy the people of Taif. Instead he prayed for their salvation.
That is just one example of how this man, who God describes as a "mercy to mankind" (Quran 21:107) dealt with those who opposed him. It's just one of many examples in the life of a person who faced constant death threats, attempts on his life, abuse and humiliation at the hands of those threatened by his simple but profound message: there is no god but God and Muhammad is His Messenger. Peace and blessings be upon him.
But the people of Taif were not the only ones who tasted of this mercy. He would pray for his enemies all the time. Two of his bitterest enemies, Abu Jahl and Omar ibn al-Khattab were also the objects of his prayers.
The Prophet made similar Duas (supplications) for his people on a regular basis: "O God! Guide my people, for they know not," he would pray, as he and his followers were tortured, humiliated, scorned and mocked.
On another occasion, some Companions came to the Prophet and said: "O Messenger of God! The tribe of Daus have committed disbelief and disobeyed (your commands). Supplicate God against them!" Contrary to the people’s expectations, the Prophet said: "O Allah! Guide Daus and let them come to us." (Bukhari).
These are just a few glimpses of how the Prophet dealt with those who opposed him. These were people who didn't just fight his message on an intellectual level. These were individuals bent on destroying him, his family, his followers and Islam itself.
Mercy after Victory
Skeptics may argue that it is easy to be merciful and forgiving when one is in a position of weakness. But in a position of power or when the opportunity presents itself, humans are known for abusing their authority and punishing their enemies brutally.
Here, too, the Prophet demonstrated exemplary behavior. The most well-known example of this is during the peaceful takeover of Mecca by the Muslims. At a time when he could have easily destroyed his worst enemies, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, showed remarkable restraint. This is even more significant given the culture of vicious tribal rivalry and guilt by association practiced at the time.
Among those the Prophet forgave were Abu Sufyan, a Quraysh leader who was among those who led the opposition to Islam; Ikrimah ibn Abu Jahl, an enemy whose father was one of the Prophet’s most vehement opponents; Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, who ripped open the corpse of the Prophet’s beloved uncle Hamza after the Battle of Uhud and ripped out his heart and liver; Wahshi, the man commissioned by Hind to murder Hamza; Utbah, the son of another of the Prophet’s greatest foes, Abu Lahab, who had divorced the Prophet’s daughter Ruqayyah under pressure from his father. None of these individuals were harmed or punished for their crimes.
The Prophet also made sure that none of the Muslims with him at the time of the takeover acted on their understandable feelings of vengeance for those who had tortured them and driven them out of their homes. For example, the Prophet gave Sa’d ibn Ubadah the standard he was initially carrying, after which Sa’d announced as the Muslims marched by Abu Sufyan that this would be the day of the Quraysh’s abasement and a day of slaughter. When the Prophet heard about this, he asked that Sa’d give the standard to his son, known for his comparatively milder temperament, for fear that Sa’d would commit violence against the Quraysh. Sa’d complied.
In terms of the rest of the Makkan population, they were granted forgiveness. It was truly a bloodless revolution based on mercy for the enemy.
Many Muslims have forgotten these lessons today
Contrast this attitude with that of some ignorant Muslims today who curse others to Hell and pray for their destruction. We don't know who is going where in the Next Life. We don't even know about ourselves. So let's keep making Dua that we stay on the right path and God guides others to it as well. We must not play God by assuming we know where others will end up.
When God tells us in the Quran about the behavior which leads to good reward and the character which takes people to the Hellfire, He is saying this so that people adopt the right behavior and avoid Hellfire by abandoning what He forbade for our own good. However, those verses are not meant to be a litmus test for us to determine where others will end up. That knowledge is only with God, the Lord of the universe.
Our Prophet was a mercy to all human beings, regardless of their religious, racial, cultural or ethnic background. We, as his followers, must live and spread this message today at a time when hatefulness and ugliness towards each other has become the norm.
Reference url: http://www.soundvision.com/info/seerah/enemy.asp
Prophet (PBUH)'s Last Sermon
The last sermon of the Prophet-peace be upon him- is known as
Khutbatul Wada'. It is mentioned in almost all books of Hadith.
Following Ahadith in Sahih Al-Bukhari refer to the sermon and quote part
of it. See Al-Bukhari, Hadith 1623, 1626, 6361) Sahih of Imam Muslim
also refers to this sermon in Hadith number 98. Imam al-Tirmidhi has
mentioned this sermon in Hadith nos. 1628, 2046, 2085. Imam Ahmed bin
Hanbal has given us the longest and perhaps the most complete version of
this sermon in his Masnud, Hadith no. 19774.
This Khutbah of the Prophet-peace be upon him- was long and it
contained much guidance and instructions on many issues. The
Prophet-peace be upon him- gave this sermon in front of a large
gathering of people during Hajj.
Whosoever heard whatever part of the sermon reported it and later
some scholars put it together. It is a great khutbah and we should all
pay attention to its message and guidance. Following are the basic
points mentioned in this khutbah:
O People
Lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year, I
shall ever be amongst you again. Therefor listen to what I am saying to
you very carefully and take these words to those who could not be
present here today.
O People
Just as you regard this month, this day, this city as sacred, so
regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. Return
the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that
no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and
that He will indeed reckon your deeds. Allah has forbidden you to take
usury (interest); therefore all interest obligation shall henceforth be
waived. Your capital, however, is yours to keep. You will neither
inflict nor suffer any inequity.
Allah has Judged that there shall be no interest and that all
interest due to Abbas Ibn ‘Abd al Muttalib (the Prophet's uncle) shall
henceforth be waived.
Beware of Satan for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope
that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware
of following him in small things.
O People
It is true that you have certain rights in regard to your women, but
they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as
your wives, only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they
abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed
in kindness. Do treat you women well and be kind to them, for they are
your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do
not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as
never to be unchaste.
O People
Listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily prayers
(Salah), fast during the month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in
Zakat.
Perform Hajj if you can afford to.
All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a
non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white
has no superiority over a black, nor a black has any superiority over a
white- except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a
brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood.
Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim, which belongs to a fellow
Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not therefor, do
injustice to yourselves.
Remember one day you will appear before Allah and answer for your
deeds. So beware, do not stray from the path of righteousness after I am
gone. People, no prophet or apostle will come after me and no new faith
will be born. Reason well therefore, O people, and understand words
which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the Quran and the
Sunnah (Hadith), and if you follow these you will never go astray. All
those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to
others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than
those who listened to me directly. Be my witness, O Allah, that I have
conveyed your message to your people."
Ref URL:
http://www.soundvision.com/info/hajj/lastsermon.asp
Five pillars of ISLAM
The Pillars of Islam (arkan al-Islam; also arkan ad-din,
"pillars of religion") are five basic acts in Islam, considered
obligatory for all believers. The Quran presents them as a framework for
worship and a sign of commitment to the faith. They are (1) the shahadah (creed), (2) daily prayers (salat), (3) almsgiving (zakah), (4) fasting during Ramadan and (5) the pilgrimage to Mecca (hajj) at least once in a lifetime. Both Shia and Sunni sects agree on the essential details for the performance of these acts.
Testimony
Shahadah
Silver coin of the Mughal Emperor Akbar with inscriptions of the Islamic declaration of faith, the declaration reads: "There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is the messenger of God."
Main article: Shahadah
The Shahadah, which is the basic creed of Islam that must be recited under oath with the specific statement: "'ašhadu 'al-lā ilāha illā-llāhu wa 'ašhadu 'anna muħammadan rasūlu-llāh",
or "I testify that there are no deities other than Allah alone and I
testify that Muhammad is his Messenger." This testament is a foundation
for all other beliefs and practices in Islam. Muslims must repeat the shahadah in prayer, and non-Muslims wishing to convert to Islam are required to recite the creed.
Prayer
Salat
Ritual prayers, called Ṣalāh or Ṣalāt (Arabic: صلاة), must be performed five times a day. Salat is intended to focus the mind on God, and is seen as a personal communication with him that expresses gratitude and worship. Salat is compulsory but flexibility in the specifics is allowed depending on circumstances. The prayers are recited in the Arabic language, and consist of verses from the Qur'an. The prayers are done with the chest in direction of the kaaba though in the early days of Islam, they were done in direction of Jerusalem.
A mosque is a place of worship for Muslims, who often refer to it by its Arabic name, masjid. The word mosque
in English refers to all types of buildings dedicated to Islamic
worship, although there is a distinction in Arabic between the smaller,
privately owned mosque and the larger, "collective" mosque (masjid jāmi`). Although the primary purpose of the mosque is to serve as a place of prayer, it is also important to the Muslim community as a place to meet and study. Al-Masjid al-Nabawi the Prophets Mosque in Madina was also a place of refuge for the poor.
Modern mosques have evolved greatly from the early designs of the 7th
century, and contain a variety of architectural elements such as minarets.
Alms-giving
Zakat and Sadaqah
"Zakāt" (Arabic: زكاة zakāh "alms")
is giving a fixed portion of accumulated wealth by those who can afford
it to help the poor or needy and for those employed to collect Zakat;
also, for bringing hearts together, freeing captives, for those in debt
(or bonded labour) and for the (stranded) traveller.
It is considered a religious obligation (as opposed to voluntary
charity) that the well-off owe to the needy because their wealth is seen
as a "trust from God's bounty". Conservative estimates of annual zakat
is estimated to be 15 times global humanitarian aid contributions. The amount of zakat to be paid on capital assets (e.g. money) is 2.5% (1/40) per year,
for people who are not poor. The Qur'an and the hadith also urge a
Muslim to give even more as an act of voluntary alms-giving called Sadaqah.
Fasting
Sawm
Fasting, (Arabic: صوم ṣawm), from food and drink (among other things) must be performed from dawn to dusk during the month of Ramadhan.
The fast is to encourage a feeling of nearness to God, and during it
Muslims should express their gratitude for and dependence on him, atone
for their past sins, and think of the needy. Sawm is not
obligatory for several groups for whom it would constitute an undue
burden. For others, flexibility is allowed depending on circumstances,
but missed fasts usually must be made up quickly.
Pilgrimage
The pilgrimage, called the ḥajj (Arabic: حج, has to be done during the Islamic month of Dhu al-Hijjah in the city of Mecca. Every able-bodied
Muslim who can afford it must make the pilgrimage to Mecca at least
once in his or her lifetime. Rituals of the Hajj include: spending a day
and a night in the tents in the desert plain of Mina, then a day in the
desert plain of Arafat praying and worshiping God, following the foot
steps of Abraham. Then spending a night out in the open, sleeping on the
desert sand in the desert plain of Muzdalifah, then moving to Jamarat,
symbolically stoning the Devil recounting Abraham's actions. Then going to Makkah and walking seven times around the Kaaba which Muslims believe was built as a place of worship by Abraham. Then walking seven times between Mount Safa and Mount Marwah
recounting the steps of Abraham's wife, while she was looking for water
for her son Ismael in the desert before Mecca developed into a
settlement.
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